Scars ON HIATUS
by xLady-Salvatore-Belikovax
Summary: It's the year of 1936. 16 years ago, Bella and Jasper were lovers. Bella, a newborn, was about to get executed, and so Jasper sends her away, to save her. Now it's 16 years later and they meet again. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE! JxB mostly, but still ExB & JxA
1. Preview

**True love..**

Jasper and Bella

**will be..**

Saving her, losing him.

**separated.**

Losing her, saving him.

**16 years later..**

Edward and Bella - Jasper and Alice

**true love..**

"I haven't forgotten him." - "I haven't forgotten her."

**meet again.**

"Jasper!" - "Bella!"

**New relationships..**

"Who is he?" - "Who is she?"

**New family..**

Carlisle and Esme

**New friends..**

Emmett and Rosalie

**New rekindled love?**

"Do you love me still?"

**Full plot;**

It's the year of 1936. Edward, not being able to stay anywhere near Emmett and Rosalie, disappeared for about a year, to let Emmett's enhanced newborn feelings settle down a bit. When he comes back home, he's accompanied by Bella, a vampire like the others, and they're in love. But Jasper, who's new to the family, knows her already. They were lovers 16 years earlier, in the year of 1920, when Jasper was still in Maria's coven. Bella had been a newborn vampire back then, and she was going to be executed soon, seeing as she was getting to be too "old". Jasper, who loved her and wished her no harm, made her leave, to save herself from Maria. Unwillingly she flees, and they're both miserable without the other – to the day when a small, pixie-like vampire walks into the diner Jasper was currently in, and calls for his attention. It's not hard to fall in love with her, and so in love with her he falls.  
But what about Bella? He never forgot her, and she never forgot him. But Bella's now together with Edward - his brother - and Jasper's together with Alice. But does Bella still love Jasper? Does Jasper still love Bella? What will happen when true love meet again? Will it rekindle, or will it fade into friendship?

- - -

**A/N: New story! Yuppers! This was a little preview of my new story that's called; **Scars**. Do you like it?? Let me know what you guys think! I will, of course, write the whole story, but I'd love to get some feedback on this still. I haven't written much on the real story yet, but I will soon!!  
And the title comes from the song Scars by Elegeion, which I'm completely obsessed with atm. It's so beautiful, and I can't stop listening to it. Go look it up on YouTube! And it reminded me a bit of Jasper, as he's covered in scars, as you all know. And their past is sure to leave a few scars deep down. So, yes, Scars!  
And the layout for this preview thing.. I got it from my darling Devvie. All credit goes to her!!  
Please READ & REVIEW!!  
Keyword; Skin, heart, soul**


	2. Goodbye

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.**

**YAY!! I got an amazing review just now, and that made me so happy that I put up the first real chapter! WOO! Thanks to **TwilightFever-FutureCullen**!! Teehee.  
**

Goodbye

"Jasper.." My love whispered sadly, staring into my crimson eyes, as I looked deep into hers, that were of the same color. "Don't.." If she could cry I was sure she would, and I would, too.

"I have to, love.." I told her, equally sad, stroking her pale cheek lovingly, urgently. "She will kill you if not.."

"I don't care!" My Bella said passionately. "I love you, and if that means I have to die, I will."

"I _won't_ let her touch you!" I gave her a chaste kiss on her full lips. "You have to go, love.."

"I don't want to leave you!" She pulled herself closer to me. "I _won't_ leave you!"

"Please, Bella.." My voice broke, not wanting her to leave either. But she _had_ to. She was a newborn vampire that was close to her one-year mark, and her time was up. Maria needed her no more, unlike me. I needed her still, I needed my love.

"You know I don't want you to leave either, but you _have_ to. Do it for me, Bella, please. If you love me, you will go. If you love me, you will keep yourself alive. If you love me, you will wait for me."

Doubt clouded her emotions, knowing she didn't really have a choice anymore. She loved me to no end, and I could feel it every time we were together. And so, if she loved me, she would obey me. She would run, and stay alive. For me.

I wrapped my arms tighter around her one last time, kissing her with all my might.

"I love you." I breathed.

"I love you, too."

And then she was gone. I guessed she couldn't stand a proper goodbye; I know I couldn't, so I was glad she did not say anything more. But I was also sad, not knowing when I would see her again. Or _if_ I would ever see her again.

"Be safe." I whispered into the darkness, as I watched her retreating figure disappearing beyond the horizon.

I swore to myself, there and then, to never forget the lovely brunette that ran away from me, for me. I would always love her, and I could never love anyone that deeply ever again. My heart belonged to her, my heart belonged to my Bella.

**Likey?? If so, please let me know!!  
Please READ & REVIEW!! Thanks!!**


	3. My Angel's Return

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.**

**OMG! Thanks to all of you for the ahmazing reviews to the preview and first chapter!! =D  
It makes the lil Lady amazingly happy and all!!**

Well, here you go.. the second chapter of Scars..

..NOW YOU ENJOY YOU GOOD FOLKS OF FORKS!!!

**- - -**

**JASPER'S POV  
**

My Angel's Return

For some reason I had started thinking about Bella again. Not that I had ever forgotten her, because how could I? But she'd been appearing in my mind every now and then for the last few weeks. I had no idea why, and thinking about her, when I had Alice, made me feel guilty somehow; like I was betraying Alice. But I wasn't, was I?

"Jasper!" Alice cried happily from downstairs; I was currently lying on our bed, reading a book. "Edward's back!"

I slowly got up and walked over to the door, book in hand. My other hand reached out, pulling down the handle, but it was quickly replaced by a feminine hand. Alice's. She flashed me a big smile, showing all off her teeth, and dragged me downstairs. I smiled at her happiness.

"Look, Edward's got himself a little girlfriend!" She sang into my ear, and my eyes searched immediately around the room, looking for our new familymember. All I could see was Edward standing next to someone with long, luscious brown hair; both of them not facing us. His arm was wrapped around her waist, and her head was leaning against his shoulder. And I could feel the love emanating from them, for each other. I was happy Edward had found someone, too. He'd been the black sheep of the family for a long time, and so _this_ was very good news indeed.

But my opinion would perhaps change, as I heard _her_ voice.

"It's all so very beautiful.."

Hadn't I heard that voice before? My mind racked for recognition.

"It all fades by comparison." Edward whispered softly into her ear.

She giggled, and the sound made me remember things I had not thought about for a very long time, things I'd thought I'd forgotten.

_Her tinkling laughter made my heart swell out of happiness. It was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. "Jasper, stop it.." She giggled._

_I laughed freely, like I always did when I was around her. "No, I will not stop.." I said serenely. "Not unless you kiss me again.."_

_She laughed, smacking me lightly on my arm. It hurt, but I did not care. "But I'll hurt you, though.." She frowned._

"_I don't think so.." I leaned closer to her, hoping she would go the rest of the distance. She smiled kindly and leaned in, brushing her lips against mine once more._

"Bella?" I asked cautiously, fearing for the hope that was starting to build up inside me. What if it wasn't her? What would I tell Alice? But, what if it _was_ her? What would I tell Alice?

She turned around slowly, and when she was facing me, a look of disbelief crossed her pale face.

"Jasper?" She whispered, staring at me as I was at her.

"Do you know her, Jasper?" Alice asked me, but quickly asked another question before I had time to answer. This time she directed it towards Edward. "Who is she?"

Edward, as well as Bella, stared at me. He'd obviously seen my memories just now. Instead of answering Alice's question, he asked Bella; "Who is he?"

The tension in the room was suddenly filled by enormous happiness. Emmett. "Edward!" he called out, grinning. "Good to have you back, man!" His eyes darted to Bella instantly, as she was by Edward's side. "Who is she?"

"Why don't you ask Jasper?" Edward replied flatly, still staring at me. I looked away from him, and focused on Bella whilst Emmett turned to me.

"Bella, is that really you?" I asked hesitantly, slowly approaching her. She nodded, still looking as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"I thought I'd never see you again!" She suddenly cried out, making almost all of us jump, and ran into my arms, making me drop my book on the floor with a light thud. "I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you, too." I pulled her closer, enjoying the feel of her again. She sighed contently, and both of us forgot that three other vampires were staring at us, stunned by the sight before them.

It was when Edward growled at me, that we both came to. We broke off from our embrace.

"How do you know him, Bella?" Edward demanded, and her head turned towards him for a brief second before she looked back at me, and answered softly; "He saved me."

"Saved you how?" Suspicion was all he was feeling right now.

"He saved my life many years ago."

"And I would gladly do it again." I told her truthfully, looking deep into her now-topaz eyes. I guessed Edward had made her follow our remarkable diet, as her beautiful eyes had been crimson the last time I'd seen her, which was 16 years ago now. I guess time does pass us by even if it seems impossible.

She smiled warmly at me before returning to Edward's side, taking his hand. "Will I see you later?"

"I hope so."

Then they both disappeared out of sight, and I didn't like that. Jealousy colored my happiness, as my angel had finally returned to me, but was now at a different man's side. A man that was my brother.

I wondered what they were going to do now, but I quickly changed my mind. I'd rather not know. It was then that I noticed that Emmett and Alice were still a bit shocked by what had just happened. But then, suddenly, Emmett started laughing. "I think you've got some explaining to do, Mister.." he pointed his finger at me, waving it around in the air.

"Funny, Em." I replied flatly, looking over at Alice who seemed to be at a loss for words, not at all like the usual bubbly Alice that I loved.

"Cracks me up every time." He continued to laugh, as he left the room as well.

"Who... who was she?" Alice asked. "Really?"

"She's just an old friend, Alice." I smiled, as I walked over to her, and wrapped my arms around her. "Nothing to worry about, dear."

I wasn't so sure if that was a lie, or the truth.

Did I still love Bella? Did she still love me?

**SO... opinions everyone?? Love it or hate it?? Maybe both??  
I would very much like to know all of your opinions!! So.. please click on the little button below and leave me a small comment. It'd make my day!! =D  
Please READ & REVIEW!! Thank you very much!! =D**


	4. Do You Ever Wonder

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.  
**  
**SO.. I apologize for the kinda short chapter, but whatever.. I hope you'll like it.  
The title for the chapter comes from Blue October's song Do You Ever Wonder, which is just simply ahmazing.**

**Also.. if any of you are reading my Twilight/Harry Potter story, Caught Up, I can gladly tell you that it's been nominated in the Twilight Awards!! I'm soo excited!! Please, go vote for it, if you believe it deserves to win! =D It's under both "Best Comedy" and "Best Crossover"! -ish thrilled about it-**

**But now.. let's get back to the story..**

**..NOW YOU ENJOY YOU GOOD FOLKS OF FORKS!!!**

**- - -**

**Jasper's POV**

Do You Ever Wonder

I saw her again the morning after - her hair was just slightly dishevelled, not particularly noticeable if you didn't care or pay attention, and I could only guess what they'd been up to last night – as she walked into the living room, plopping herself down on the couch beside me.

"Hi." She said timidly, playing innocently with a lock of her chocolate brown hair. I could tell it smelled like strawberries, just like it used to when we'd been together. It was heaven.

"Hello." I replied politely, sighing inwardly, slowly inhaling the sin that was her.

"How are you?" She asked carefully, letting go of the stray lock of hair, glancing at me.

"I'm fine, thank you. And yourself?" I turned a page in the book that I had in my hands.

"I'm fine, too." If she'd been able to blush, like a human, I was pretty sure her cheeks would be a distinct pink by now, as embarrassment rolled of in waves from her. Luckily for her she couldn't blush anymore.

"What are you reading?"

"A book."

"I know that." She rolled her eyes at me. "What's it called?"

"Do you still love me?"

"Nice title." She giggled. But then, when she realized I wasn't smiling, she became wary. "Jasper..."

"Do you?" I urged.

She looked away from me.

"You were gone." She started, and I felt sadness emanating from her. And guilt. "I thought I would never see you again." She looked down on her hands in her lap. "And then I met Edward. And he loves me, Jasper. He really does."

"Answer me, please." I pleaded with her. "Do you love me still?"

"Jasper, please.."

"It's an easy question, Bella." I said. "Answer me. Before I go crazy, please.."

"You're with Alice." She said, tilting her head to the side, shaking it slightly. "And I'm with Edward." She paused, and then mouthed; "But yes, I do still love you. How could I not?"

I smiled, mouthing back at her; "I love you, too."

She giggled delicately, and that brought back the memory I'd remembered yesterday. I started tickling her, and she started laughing. "Jasper, stop it.."

"No, I will not stop.." I said again, and my words sparked something in her. She remembered that afternoon, too. She got wary again. "Not unless you kiss me again.."

She smiled a little, smacking my arm hesitantly. But this time it did not hurt. "But I'll hurt you, though.." We laughed quietly at how that situation had definitely changed since back then. Well, everything had changed around us, except for our feelings for each other.

"I don't think so.." I replied softly, and leaned closer to her. She did not disappoint me, like I had feared, as she covered the distance, kissing me first gently and then a bit more urgently. I did not disapprove of the change.

"I will always love you, no matter what." She whispered very quietly into my ear as she pulled back. It was so quiet that I barely heard her, even with my supersensitive hearing.

I smiled at her. "My heart will always belong to you, no matter what." I replied just as quietly.

"It's so good to see you again, Jasper." She said a bit louder, pulling back, as we both heard someone approaching the house. Just a few moments later, Edward darted inside the house, coming back from a quick hunting-trip.

We'd been alone uptil now, as Carlisle was at work, Esme was away shopping with Alice and Rosalie. Edward and Emmett had just been hunting. Although, I was sure it'd been planned so that Bella and I could talk privately, for I could feel suspicion coming from Edward, as well as uncertainty and slight sadness. Did he suspect anything about me and Bella's past?

"Sorry I left, love." he apologized, running over to Bella, picking her up in his arms. They both beamed at each other for awhile, but then he glanced over at me for a second, and then back at her, his smile turning into a smouldering look. I could feel the love from both of them, for each other, although Bella's was more intense. She loved both me and Edward.

"So, have you told him yet?" he asked her softly, his velvety voice awfully seductive. She shivered from it whilst I just felt repulsed. And wary.

So, she was going to tell me something? What could it be? Edward's emotions, now, made me feel nervous. I didn't like it. Something was up.

I could feel just how uncomfortable she was now, too. Slowly, she turned around towards me, smiling sadly.

"We're getting married, Jasper."

**On three perhaps?  
One.. two.. three..  
AWWW!!!  
Don't we all feel really sad for Jasper now? I know I feel awfully sad for him. -sheds tear- Hehe. But anyways.. what do y'all think??  
Please click da little button below, and send me a lil message. It'd make my day! =D  
Please READ & REVIEW!! Thank you very much!!**


	5. Somebody Else's Arms

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.**

**Okay, so, yeah.. here it finally is! Chapter 4 of Scars! WhooP! =)  
**

**And thanks for your concern and all (about the A/N before), but everything's cool now, I guess. I wasn't at school yesterday, and I didn't hear anything on the news so I guess everything's alright again. Back to normal, you know. Thank God.**

**And btw, from here on out this story will be rated as M, as there is a lemon scene later on in this chapter. BUT I've put a warning right before it is, so the ones who does NOT want to read it won't. I will let you know the basics of what happened in that scene in the next chapter, so you're up to date. No lemons there, I assure you.  
And I'm not sure if there will be any more lemons further on in the story yet.. I haven't deicded that yet because this one's actually the very first one I've ever written. -ish kind of nervous about it-. I hope I made it good. Hehe. Let me know! Please! Haha.**

**Chapter title = A song by Armor For Sleep. Listen to it! It's amazing. =)  
**

**Anyways..**

**..NOW YOU ENJOY YOU GOOD FOLKS OF FORKS!!!**

**- - -**

**Jasper's POV  
**

Somebody Else's Arms

I was shocked, to say the least. Hadn't she confessed her love for me just minutes ago?

My body froze, so did my mind. I stared at her, uncomprehending of what had just happened.

Marriage.

She was getting married.

To my brother.

The girl I was _in love with_ was getting _married_ to _my brother_.

I think my world started to shatter right there and then. This was actually worse than having to give her up, to save her. I couldn't just see her every day with another man, even if he was family, and do nothing. I loved her and I would always love her. She meant everything to me.

And to see that smile on my brother's lips and the sparkling in his eyes when he watched her made me feel sick to my stomach. He was allowed to touch the one thing I wasn't.

Bella.

And to know she loved me, too, was breaking my heart.

Why did she do this to me?

"When did this happen?" I asked, trying to control my emotions and thoughts the best I could.

"Yesterday," Edward smiled, looking adoringly at Bella, who smiled, too, yet felt nothing. No emotion at all radiated off of her.

I glanced at Bella, who immediately looked away when I turned towards her, no smile on her face anymore.

"Is there something wrong, love?" Edward asked, his hand cupping her chin, making her look at him. He stroked her cheek, looking deeply into her eyes, searching for the cause of her sudden distress.

"Nope," she smiled again, but it didn't reach her eyes though. "Everything's just perfect."

Edward tilted his head then, about to kiss her, and of course I couldn't let that happen.

I cleared my throat loudly.

He looked up at me, annoyed. "What?" he nearly growled.

"Did I just see someone getting married?!" Alice suddenly shrieked with joy, running into the room, a basket in her hand; full of fabrics. Apparently her dream of becoming a fashion designer was still set. "Is it true?!" She looked around at all of us, grinning like a little kid on christmas morning.

Saved by the bell, like the saying went, although, in this case, it was; _Saved by the Alice_.

"You just have to let me design your wedding dress, Bella!" Alice smiled, jumping up and down in front of a rather scared-looking Bella.

"Er, Alice," she said tentatively, glancing for a second at me. "You don't have to do that.. really.." she bit her lip softly, watching the pleading Alice. The way she bit that pink flesh made me want to kiss her again. Badly. She just looked so beautiful and I wondered then how I could ever have let her go.

I should've run away _with_ her!

It could've been me holding her hand, kissing her, marrying her. It could've been me making her smile, laugh, cry. It could've been me who made love to her last night and every night after that, for all eternity.

It could've been me all of it.

I felt angry with myself, for ever making her leave me. I didn't want to force her away, and neither did she. She wanted to stay, and she didn't even care that she would die if it meant that she could be with me for the remaining time of her life.

She loved me that much.

Keyword: _loved_.

She said she still loved me before Edward barged in on us, and I started wondering if she even really meant it. Would she still die to be with me?

I knew I would die for her, no questions asked. She was my life – I lived for her. No one else. Not that I didn't love Alice though. She was the sunshine in my life, but Bella was my dawn. And there's really a clear distinction between the two.

Whilst Alice always made me feel happy and optimistic - always loved, Bella was that little extra. She was the dawn of my life, the one who made me feel special and significant – always the one you could never forget. The sunshine's always there, but not the dawn. The dawn's only there for one short amount a day, and it's the one who leaves the greatest impression when you see it.

"But I _want_ to, silly!" Alice sang, smiling.

"Perhaps you should leave the two lovebirds alone for a second at least, Alice.." I murmured quietly, a hint of amusement in my voice, not to aggravate and alarm Edward. I took Alice's small hand in mine, and squeezed it gently, making her look up at me, frowning.

"I want to help them with their wedding, Jazz, but they won't let me!" she pouted, glaring at Bella and Edward. "Make them let me!"

I noticed how Bella's eyes suddenly glanced down at Alice's and my hand entwined, and I smiled, feeling the faint jealousy from her, along with confusion.

If only holding Alice's hand made her feel somewhat jealous I started wondering what she'd _do_ if I did other things with her.. It wasn't as if she could possibly only resort to feeling jealous then. These new revelations intrigued me.

"I'm already doing Rose's dress - why can't I do yours?" Alice said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"You'll need a good reason to get out of this one," I chuckled quietly.

Bella sighed.

"YAY!"

My angel gave me a peculiar look right before Alice dragged her away from me and Edward, and immediately the environment in the room changed. Uncomfortableness turned to real, heavy-pressured tension. It was on the brink of being tangible.

Edward gave me a questioning look before he went off to join the girls, but as soon as he turned around to go after them, Alice sang from upstairs; "NO BOYS ALLOWED!"

I smiled, but my brother just frowned and sat himself down on the couch.

"What's got you so wound up?" I asked him, sitting myself down again, but in one of the armchairs instead. "You should be happy! You're getting married, bro!"

"Hey, guys, you-" Emmett came in, munching on an apple.

"Have you slept with Bella?" Edward asked abruptly, eyebrows raised as he looked at me. Emmett stopped dead in his tracks, casting glances between the both of us as if he was following some tennis match.

My eyes were transfixed on Edward. "No."

"But you have kissed her, haven't you?" his voice was low. Dark. His emotions were in check, but I knew that one wrong thing I said could set him off.

"Yes."

"When?"

Emmett stopped looking at Edward, and just stared, open-mouthed, at me. "Dude.." he said dramatically. "You hit on your bro's fiancée? Not cool, man. Not cool at all."

I pretended not to have heard Emmett, and answered Edward calmly; "A long time ago."

Edward seemed annoyed still. "What, really, is 'a long time ago' for you?"

"16 years."

"Did you love her, Jasper?" Esme asked softly, walking into the room with Rosalie behind her, who was smug, no doubt because she wasn't exactly Edward's biggest fan. She liked when something went bad for him.

"Yes, and I still do-"

They all gasped, except Edward, who glared at me. A low grumble was heard from him.

"But it's different though. I'm with Alice now." I explained, lying obviously because it really wasn't different at all. Her reappearance in my life had just sparked those old feelings again.

For me anyway.

"I understand," Esme smiled gently, patted my shoulder, and then walked out of the room, taking Rosalie by the hand. "Come on, Rose, time to plant some wildflowers."

Edward still looked at me suspiciously, but said nothing.

And Emmett, well, he was Emmett, and continued to eat his nasty apple.

- - -

**In this next part the lemon scene is, so if you don't want to read it, then don't scroll down. But you should know that it's an important scene. For the ones who don't read the lemon, let me know and I will tell you what happened in it in the beginning of the next chapter. Okay? No lemons then, just the basics of what happened here.**

**Also, when I say so later on in this part, start listening to _9 Crimes_ by _Damien Rice_. Link is available on my profile.  
**

- - -

Later that night I managed to get another one-on-one with Bella, but it was because we were hunting at the same time. I hadn't gone for almost two weeks now, and I was very thirsty. Bella had apparently not eaten either, and so she joined me.

We ran out of the house, saying our goodbyes to our family, and feeling the wind blowing past us as we picked up our pace.

I stopped after a while, when we'd already gone long ways away from our house, and took in a deep breath. My throat began to ache, and I caught the scent of a flock of deer about 200 yards away from me.

Bella continued to run.

Slowly, I crept closer to my prey and lowered myself down into a crouch when I felt I was close enough to attack, and not to scare them away.

A second later I had sprung and jumped up on one of the deers' back and sunk my venomous teeth into it's soft flesh. It ripped and warm, red liquid oozed from the wound.

My lips quivered as I began to drink, feeling more and more satiated, yet not satisfied enough. I wanted more, and I took what I could. Within another 15 minutes I had already drunk the blood of 4 deers and 1 elk. I wasn't satisfied still, but it would have to be all for now.

**(Start listening to _9 Crimes_ now. Link's on my profile.)**

"Hey, Jasper.." A voice said timidly from behind, stepping into the small clearing I was currently in.

"Bella?" I said as I turned around, and I saw the most beautiful of angels walking up to me. She first stopped when she was standing right in front of me, looking into my, now, topaz-colored eyes.

She took my hands in hers.

"I'm so sorry for what I'm putting you through," she said sadly. "It's not fair, I know, but I don't know what to do anymore. I wasn't expecting to see you again, ever, no matter how much I wished I would every single night for the past 16 years."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm marrying Edward, Jasper. Not you. That's what I'm saying." She dropped my hands and turned around, her hands now covering her face instead. I heard her take a deep breath.

"Were you lying to me before? When you said you loved me, too, I mean?"

"What?" Bella cried, horrified, turning around again. She stared at me as if I had lost my mind. And I think I'd already done that. Did that a few hours ago actually.

"Are you crazy? You think I lied? You think I don't love you anymore?"

"Yes."

She put her soft hands on both sides of my face, looking deeply into my eyes before she said fiercely; "I _love_ you."

And then she kissed me.

It was a passionate kiss, and I felt myself get lost in her. My lips caressed hers adoringly, and I immediately forgot about the past 16 years - the years without her.

I forgot Alice, I forgot Edward, I forgot everything.

All but _her_.

All but Bella.

My tongue pressed slightly on her bottomlip, and her lips parted, making me able to enter.

I, of course, did.

Our tongues danced in perfect harmony, and I felt this huge craving for more. I _needed_ more, and so I deepened the kiss further. She moaned into my mouth and I couldn't help the tugging on the corners of my lips, as I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer. She was finally here again. In _my_ arms. Her tender arms clawed at my body, as I did hers.

Desperation and urgency hung thickly in the air, and we couldn't let go of each other. My lips ventured down to her neck and she sighed contently, and I continued to nibble on the soft skin there, all the way up to the small cavity below her ear. She shivered with pleasure.

My tongue darted out randomly, licking her, tasting her. She smelt like strawberries, and I knew it'd forever be my favorite fruit. My favorite smell. She tasted so good, and I slowly made my way back to her kiss-swollen lips. Her fingers suddenly ripped open the front of my shirt, but I couldn't care less. All I wanted was for her clothes to come off as well. My fingers played with the buttons of her shirt as I kissed her fiercely, as she walked backwards.

Her back was suddenly against one of the trees, but that didn't stop us.

Bella wrapped her legs around my hips, and I was glad for the change. I _needed_ to be closer, and she _let_ me be closer. She let out a quiet moan as she started rocking her hips against me, and I suddenly felt even more excited. The friction made it harder for me, and I felt that my pants were suddenly very tight.

I moaned, too, and my hands were immediately more busy with getting that shirt of hers off.

All the buttons were undone, and her bare stomach and silky smooth skin was exposed to my hungry eyes. Her perfect breasts were still covered though, but they wouldn't be for much longer. I cupped those curves in my hands and I felt her sudden sharp intake of breath. I smiled.

"You like that?" I asked her huskily, and she breathed heavily against my skin.

"Yes."

Her hands moved up and down my torso whilst her mouth was planting frantic kisses on every inch of skin she could reach. Her touch sent shivers through my body, and it only made me want her more. Her hips started rocking against me in a faster pace, and my pants were seriously getting in the way. They needed to be off.

"Please.." she breathed. "Please.."

"Anything you want, baby," I answered her back, and my hands moved across her delicate stomach, and down to the hem of her skirt. My hands slowly caressed her inner thighs, and she moaned again, right into my ear. It was such a turn on.

"Jasper.." she whispered, nibbling the nape of neck. "No foreplay.. and stop teasing me.."

I smiled.

Her little hands reached down to the button on my pants and unfastened it quickly, pulling the zipper down as well. I tried to lower them the best I could, too, and step out of them, but it was proving to be really difficult.

As I stepped out of them, leaving myself in just boxers, Bella's lips were devouring my neck. It was almost as if she treated me like her prey, sinking her teeth into me and all, and it only got me harder. Her being all animalistic was very sexy, I must say. She kissed, licked, tasted me, urgently, all over my upper body - everywhere she could basically.

I decided to change things and so I turned us around, her legs still wrapped around my waist, and then slowly made us lie down, me being on top of her.

"Make love to me, Jasper.." her voice was so low, and it was definitely the best, and the sexiest, words I've ever heard in my entire existence. Especially because _she_ said them.

As our bodies pressed against each other, there was no doubt that she could feel my erection pressing against her stomach. And still, she continued to rock her hips against me, making me only get harder with every move she made.

This was getting seriously aggravating, the fact she was still almost fully dressed, and so in a matter of minutes she was completely naked. Her bare, and beautiful, body laid out before me, and I smiled, feeling the amount of lust she held for _me_ now. Her honey eyes were glistening as they looked me over – just as bare as she was. She was hungry for more.

I leaned down, kissing her passionately, as I teased her entrance with my hardened length. She groaned, moaning, into my mouth with both irritation and want – her body squirming beneath me.

"Please.." Bella whispered desperatedly, pleading with me, her kisses never subsiding. "Jasper, please.."

And then I thrustened into her.

She moaned with pleasure, and I moaned, too. God, the sensations it brought as I kept rocking into her, going at an faster pace with every stroke... Her hands dug into my shoulders, and tried bringing me closer to her as she arched her back, meeting my every thrust.

"God.. Jasper.." I was sure she was going to leave marks on my back afterwards. "More.. more.. please.."

I kept pushing myself into her harder, even grabbing her leg and putting it up on my shoulder, trying a different angle this time. And the result of my experimenting was her screaming with pleasure, and I could fell her walls clamp around me. She was close to her climax, as was I.

"Faster.. harder.."

I obeyed my angel and really did everything I could do, using all the strength I had when I thrusted into her again. My lips dove onto hers, and it was a very desperate kiss. I could feel myself being on the brink of my release. And then a minute later we reached it together, and she moaned into my mouth. It was so erotic, in a way, yet it was still very sensual.

I collapsed on top of her, both of us breathing hard.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too, Jasper."

**Yeppers. That was that chapter, and lemon. Haha.  
Opinions everyone?? Was this chapter good or bad? I would very much like to know.. and also what you thought about the lemon. Should I do more of them? Hehe. It was my first one after all, so I don't expect it to be that good, so please be honest! I really don't mind!**

**Please spare a few seconds of your precious time to click that lil button below and leave me a lil comment! I wanna know if you have any suggestions or ideas or anything, really.. your opinions truly matter to me =) Doesn't matter how crazy they are either! Hehe.**

**Dedicated to: Chrissy - my animal.  
**

**Please READ & REVIEW!! Thank you very much!! =)  
**


	6. Sinner

**Characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. This is just a fanmade story by me.**

**Okies, so here it is. The next chapter. Teehee :)**

**Someone complained about the warning in the previous chapter, and someone actually thanked me for it. Well, if you're wondering why I did it, it was because this story was rated T from the beginning, and I never said I would make it a M-story later on. So, as to not be Idk, unfair?, I chose to put up a warning beforehand. So, now you know. Don't complain again.  
**

**BUT, as it kills the anticipation of a lemon when you put up a warning like that.. I've decided just to say; _Risque_ if there is a chance to such a scene. It doesn't necessarily have to be a lemon, but there might be some content that you might not appreciate anyway. Language perhaps.**

**This chapter = Mild Risque  
**

**Summary of the lemon scene for the ones who did not read it:  
**_Well, Bella and Jasper were away hunting alone. Bella apologized to Jasper about the whole Edward thing, saying that she didn't expect to ever see him again. Bella tells him that she's going to marry Edward anyway, and not Jasper. She tells him that she loves him anyway, and then, well, that's where the lemon comes in. In the end Bella and Jasper say that they love each other._

_- - -  
_

Sinner

**~Jasper's POV~**

We got up from the soft grass and hurriedly put all our clothes back on, but there was one problem though..

My shirt was ripped almost to threads.

I glanced over at Bella, and she looked exactly like she'd done before we made love. She wouldn't have anything to explain later, except perhaps that she smelled a bit like me.

"You'll have to shower when we get back.." I told her, smiling, remembering what we'd just done. It had truly been the best moment of my entire life. This had been our second time.

She didn't respond – actually, she didn't make any sounds at all. I couldn't even feel any emotions coming from her. It was complete stillness.

A blank slate.

"Bella?" I asked, feeling kind of worried because of her remoteness.

"This never happened." she mumbled quietly, and I wasn't sure if she directed it towards me or if she was telling herself that. Either way it made my heart ache, starting to crumble from the pain her words brought to me.

Did she really feel that way?

Did she really regret making love to me?

"Bella, what's wrong?" I slowly walked towards her, but she didn't even move. She just stood there, a few feet away from me, with her back towards me. When I reached her, she still didn't move. She didn't even flinch from my closeness.

"Bella, love, look at me," I said softly, as she was currently staring at the ground.

Slowly, she turned around and looked up at me with unshedded tears in her eyes. And as if she had real ones, I wiped them away gently, stroking her cheek.

"I love you," I told her softly. "And I swear to God that I have no idea what I'm doing right now, but I know everything will be alright eventually. You have to trust me on that. Somehow things will work out for the better, but we just don't know how yet. Only time can tell us that.."

"You really think so, don't you?" she whispered, barely audible to even my ears.

"I do."

I wrapped my arms around her again, pulling her closer to me, as she rested her head on my shoulder. "Everything will be alright." I assured her, stroking the back of her head comfortingly. Her dry sobs shook through her, even shaking my marble body.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper.." she cried into my shoulder, and I just continued to hold her close to me.

"Shh.." I whispered quietly, pulling slightly away from her, to look into her beautiful honey eyes.

"I love you, truly I do. You know that, right?"

"I love you, too." she replied sadly, biting down on that perfect bottomlip of hers.

Things like that just made me want to kiss her, and so I couldn't help myself now. I leaned closer and made my lips brush softly against hers. She responded, but it was as if she forced herself to do it.

"I can't do this." she wept, pulling away from me abruptly, taking several steps backwards.

I stood across from her, staring at her retreating figure, silently pleading to her not to go.

"I'm sorry.."

Those were her last words before she turned around and ran away.

From me.

Because of me.

**~Bella's POV~**

I felt so guilty, and at the same time, torn.

My emotions went completely haywire after I'd run away from Jasper. I just didn't know what to do anymore. My mind, as well as my heart, were in this constant battle of whom I should love.

Jasper – my first real friend, love.. Well, he was a lot of firsts actually, and I swear I've never felt like that about anyone ever. Not even when I was human.

He was so sweet to me, gentle and caring, and I just loved everything about him. Once, I had truly believed that he was my soulmate, that I would never find anyone that I could love again, after he'd sent me away. But, then I met Edward, and I melted immediately.

Edward was so unlike Jasper, and not in a bad way either. I loved him soo much, and he helped me heal.

For about 15 years I had constantly been thinking about Jasper, and how I missed him. I longed for his touch, his soft kisses, his heavenly smell, which was like home to me.

I wanted him to come back to me for 15 years..

.. and then Edward came.

I was practically in pieces when he found me, and he didn't seem to mind at all. He stayed with me, and he kept me sane, kept my mind off of Jasper.

He made me laugh again, and at first it felt really weird, as I hadn't even smiled in so many years - ever since I left Jasper's side actually, but he never gave up hope on me. He always said that; "Someone as beautiful as you shouldn't cry. Life's too short to mourn anything, or anyone. Don't give up."

Maybe he was right.. but I don't know though.

I still loved Jasper.

Exactly the same way I'd done before, too. My feelings for him hadn't changed at all, and I was feeling guilty because now I was with Edward.. and I wanted Jasper.

I reached the house a few minutes later and I darted immediately towards the bathroom, and I jumped into the shower, trying to get the scent of my former lover off of me as quickly as I could.

The water felt nice against my heated skin.. at least it felt heated to me. It made me relax a bit.

"Love..?" A velvety voice said softly, stepping into the bathroom, a few minutes later.

"What is it?" I asked, praying to God that he wouldn't step into the shower with me. I wasn't sure if Jasper's scent was completely gone from my body yet.

"Where's Jasper?" He asked me calmly, standing in the threshold, seeming to have gotten rid of the suspicion of mine and Jasper's past. He'd been rather hostile before towards him, but he was perfectly calm now. That was good. "He didn't come home with you.. and Alice is asking for him.."

"Oh." I said, still in the shower, wondering myself why he hadn't come back yet, as I had probably been in here for about 10 minutes now at least. He _should've_ returned by now. "Well, I don't know. He said he wasn't finished when I wanted to go back, and so he said that I should go home without him.." I lied, obviously.

"Okay.." Edward said slowly, the tone he used told me he was puzzled. "Well, she can't really see him, so she's worried.." he paused. "Did something happen out there that you're not telling me?"

I almost panicked right there, but thankfully I didn't. Edward would never find out about mine and Jasper's little.. session out there. He'd probably kill Jasper then, and possibly me, too.

"Nope. I hunted, he hunted. We didn't talk that much." Which was true after all, although I was kind of stretching the truth a bit. Well, a lot actually.

"Alright.." Edward said, not at all suspicious, I could tell. He bought it. Phew. "Well, love, I was really going to ask you if you're up for picking up where we left off yesterday..?" His voice turned silky, seductive, and I felt myself getting all shaky from anticipation.

Yesterday had been simply amazing because he surely knew how to please a woman. Apparently he'd been a virgin when we first met, but after a few months we'd passed that stage, and he became a fast learner. I showed him what I could do, and he was quickly ready to experiment a bit of his own, something I had no objections about. He was so eager, like a little kid on Christmas morning, and so I couldn't deny him anything that he wanted.

"Sure.." I said, my voice not completely steady though. "Sounds good."

"Are you alright, love?" He came up to the shower, and I peeked outside, noticing him rightaway as he was just mere inches from me.

I kissed him quickly. "Yes."

He smiled and turned to leave. "Well, don't keep me waiting for too long.."

"I won't."

As he closed the door behind him I felt my whole frame starting to shake. I stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my bare self, and turned to look at myself in the mirror. And what I saw was sort of frightening because I didn't fully recognize my own reflection.

The girl who looked back at me.. well, for starters, her hair was a mess, and her eyes were a bit weary, which was sort of out of the ordinary. Her mouth was just a little bit swollen – a result from an intense make-out session..

_Jasper._

My body started shaking visibly now, and I just wanted to cry out.. I wanted to die because I couldn't deal with all of this drama. Here I was, in the bathroom, with Edward in the next room, who was waiting for me to finish up in here.. and then we would do what I'd just done with Jasper.

And he was nowhere to be found apparently, and I couldn't take this anymore.

Edward was in _our_ bedroom, and he wanted to _sleep with me_ as soon as I came out.

Jasper was gone, well, he hadn't returned yet, and I wanted him here with me so that he could tell me how things would actually get better soon. I needed the reassurance right about now.

And I was in here, about to go and have sex with Edward, a man I loved.. but it still didn't feel right. It felt like I was about to cheat on Jasper, which was just crazy. Insane even. I wasn't together with him.. I was with Edward. But that feeling was still there though, and my mind told me that it was going to stay there for quite a while from now on.

But I had to do it anyway. Because I couldn't just go and say 'No' to Edward, could I?

I had no _real_ reasons to say 'No'.

"Love, are you alright in there?" I heard Edward chuckle.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I called out. "I'll be out in a second."

I chanced a glance at the girl in the mirror once more before I took a deep breath, steadying myself, and then walking out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

Edward was sitting on the bed, and as I came out, he got up and walked over to me, enveloping me in his arms. I let out a breath, and he smiled at me before he kissed me, first softly, adoringly, and then suddenly more passionately.

I responded to the kiss the best as I could without losing my mind, and pushing Jasper as far back in my head as I could. It was the only way I could do this without feeling like I was a complete tramp.

As he walked backwards, I moved forwards, our lips still devouring each other. And as his legs hit the side of the bed he turned us around and made me fall onto the bed instead. I climbed backwards, up against the cushions by the bedframe, and pulled him with me by the collar of his shirt, as I went.

He let out a quiet moan, and I could feel my body's anticpation for more as he traced my bottom lip with his tongue. I let him enter and together our tongues danced, battling for dominance, although it wasn't much of a battle. I practically let him win.

His hands started to wander across my upper torso, until they stopped at my breasts, cupping them, and making me moan from the sensation that his touch brought. He broke off from my lips and started kissing down my jaw, to my neck, placing both gentle and urgent kisses all over my throat.

Then he suddenly flipped us over so that I was on top of him, straddling his waist, and he continued with his frantic kisses.

_I wonder if Jasper's back yet.._

NO!

_No, no, no. Return from where you came, thought! I can't think of him now when Edward's taking my shirt off.._

His hands untucked the hem of my shirt and started to caress the smooth skin on my stomach. I shivered, feeling myself starting to get pretty worked up. They continued to make their way up to my breasts, cupping and squeezing them tenderly above my bra, making me let out quiet moans of pleasure. In response I buried my head in the crook of his neck, nibbling on the soft skin there.

"Bella.."

The voice that spoke surprised me, and I pulled away instantly, practically sitting on his stomach now, as I looked at his face. I froze in shock.

_Jasper._

I swear I stopped breathing right there and then. My dead heart just started beating incredibly fast. It felt like that anyway. And immediately another wave of guilt washed over me as I looked into his clear topaz-eyes. What the hell was I doing?

"Love..?"

I blinked and then he was suddenly gone, just like that, and I saw _him_ again.

Edward.

He looked at me worriedly, and he stroked my face lightly. "Love, are you alright..?" The concern in his voice was breaking my heart. He shouldn't care about me even. Hadn't I just cheated on him? Not that he knew that.. And not that he'd ever find out either. I was getting married to the man in just a month after all..

I felt so guilty.

And still just as torn as ever.

Edward..

Jasper..

I was in love with the two most amazing men in the whole world. And by being with one of them I hurt the other, and if I chose not to hurt the one who was already being hurt.. then I'd hurt the one who wasn't hurt from the beginning.

And there was no way that I could choose between the two of them.

"Yeah," I put on a smile for him. A fake one, of course. "I'm just fine."

He kissed me once gently, smiling genuinely at me.

"You seem to be quite distracted tonight.." He said calmly. I gulped. He notices things sometimes that I don't get how he really does it. It makes me nervous. "Is something the matter?"

"No, no.." I said. "Everything's just fine. And the only thing you should be worrying about right now, Mister, is getting this shirt off of me. It frustrates me that it's still on."

He chuckled a little and then he began to kiss me again, first softly and then more urgently. Like always.

I kissed him back, just not with the same enthusiasm, but I don't think he took too much notice though. He was too busy with slowly, and that's painfully slowly, taking my shirt off, his hands caressing my shoulders. It was driving me to madness.

"Please.." I begged, and he just smiled at me, looking as innocent as any angel would.

"You're better than that, love. You're not some quick fuck." He said, kissing me sweetly. "I want to make love to you, Bella. That's what you deserve." His lips made their way down to my neck.

"I think you've showed me that many times, Edward." I retorted, sounding kind of harsh. "But just for once I'd like it a bit more rough. Just, fuck me, Edward. For once."

He stared at me like he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. I noticed he'd flinched when I said that, but it was true though. He was always very gentle with me, and I did like it. Truly I did. It was sensual and romantic and everything, really. But this time I needed more though. I needed to get Jasper out of my head and the only way that would ever happen would be if he really fucked me. Hard.

"What brought this on?" He asked, looking incredulous and hurt at the same time.

I sighed. "I love you, Edward. Really, I do. And I love it when we make love, but can't we change things around just once? Please?"

His eyes were wary, and I knew he was battling with himself right now. He thought of it as "improper" to treat a lady like that. He'd told me this many times before, because I had asked him to be rough with me on several occassions.

"Please..?"

At the same time as my heart was aching because of Jasper, because I felt so guilty for doing this with Edward, even if I loved him and even if he was my fiancé.. my body craved to be touched. By Jasper. By Edward. Jasper. Edward. Jasper..

I'm seriously disturbed.

And they deserve better.

Edward sighed, giving in, and then began to kiss me again, but not gently at first. Thank God. It started out rough, finally, and it just got rougher and fiercer, and it was simply amazing. Heaven even. In a way at least.

His lips were urgent on my lips, devouring them, and his hands no longer caressed my body. Caress was just a too tame word. Ravaged was better. He ravaged every inch of bare skin he could touch, and I sucked in a breath, my hands immediately going to the back of his neck, digging into his shoulders, pulling him closer to me.

We moaned in unison.

My hands travelled down his back and to his shirt, tugging at the hem, and then, as soon as it was free, I pulled it up. He broke off from me for a second to aid me in getting his shirt off.

A second later his bare chest was exposed and I immediately caressed the smooth skin that I was now granted access to, my hands moving across his perfectly muscular abs.

As Edward tried to reach around me, I arched my back, making it easier for him to undo the clasp of my bra, as I kissed his collarbone. Frantic, yet gentle, kisses were placed all the way from his neck, to his collarbone, and to his nipples.

It was his turn to suck in a breath.

"Like that..?" I breathed, taking it into my mouth, licking it.

"Oh, god.. yes.."

He got my bra off, and now both of our chests were completely exposed to one another. And then he just stopped, pulling away, and it was to stare at my breasts.

I cleared my throat. "Edward..?"

"Hm..?" His honey eyes turned to look into mine, and the corners of his mouth pulled up into a smile. But it didn't take my breath away, like it so often did. At least, it had taken my breath away before we came back here. Before I saw Jasper again, that is.

"Nothing." I shrugged.

He chuckled.

I kissed him again, and he returned it without hesitation while his hands resumed their previous position at my back, clawing slightly, pulling me closer to his soft, marble body.

My hands lowered themselves evidently, making their way down to the top off his pants, fumbling with the button and zipper. His hands came back around, taking mine in his, steadying me as we pulled the zipper down together.

"Nervous?" he asked.

"Anxious?"

"To get this over with?"

"Mm.." I murmured. "You?"

"Touché."

I smiled a little at that, but I was sure it was because of entirely different reasons though. I was almost a 100 percent sure that he wanted to stop because of his morals, and I was 100 percent sure that I wanted to stop because I felt like I was betraying Jasper, whom I loved. It felt like I cheated on him when I kissed Edward nowadays, and when I allowed him to touch me the way I did now, it was just... unacceptable. It felt so _wrong_.

It should feel _right_, because Edward was my fiancé and soon-to-be husband, but it didn't. At all.

Not even one bit.

Just so utterly and heartbreakingly _wrong_.

"Why can't we just take it slow tonight, love?" he asked me. "We could take it a bit rougher tomorrow instead, if you still want to.."

"No. Tonight." I silenced him by kissing him again, and he sighed instantly into my mouth.

Within a few seconds we were both panting hard, and he was the first one to break off, his lips now wandering down my jaw and my neck instead, making me moan.

His fingers played a little with the hem of my skirt before he actually pulled it off. I had to lift myself up because otherwise he'd have to rip it off of my body. Not that he would've minded, though, and the same goes for me. That sight would've definitely been a turn-on.

"Bella.." he breathed against the bare skin on my right breast as his lips began to plant kisses there. It tickled my skin, made it tingle. It felt good.

"Mmm.."

It continued like this for another 20 minutes or so, with him taking things slow even if he'd promised otherwise. But then, to my actual surprise, he seemed suddenly urgent.

By now all of our clothing items were gone, and he was cupping my breasts again, squeezing one whilst licking the other. It felt so good that I couldn't keep myself from moaning.

"Edward.. please.. more.."

And then he gave me all he had in him.

- - -

"You're so cute. So adorable. Beautiful. And you're all mine.." he mused afterwards, smiling angelically, as he laid back against the pillows. But my heart just began to ache again from his words. And not in a good way either. It ached for Jasper, and I wondered once again where he was.

Was he back yet? If so, had he heard us just now? What was he thinking?

_Jasper!_, my heart cried and I immediately sat up in the bed, my back ramrod straight.

"Love..?" Edward said, sounding taken aback. Shocked. Worried. Anxious even.

I didn't answer him.

"Bella, is everything alright?" He sat up, too, next to me, and placed one of his hands on my shoulder as if to calm me down. As if to comfort me or something.

And that was it.

I just pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs, and started crying non-stop, my body shaking violently from the dry sobs that wracked through me.

**No real lemon in this one, I know. Sorry. Maybe in the next chapter? Hehe.**

**I hope you liked this long chapter anywaysers. Please let me know what you guys thought! Especially, I'd like to know your thoughts on Bella's POV.. was it good? Insightful maybe? Hehe. Let me know!  
**

**Please READ & REVIEW!! Thank you very much!! :)**


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